nu labour

Just returned from the Yorkshire Rantercon down Southwark way to find that Gwyneth Dunwoody has died aged 77.  Anyone who's ever had a passing interest in transport politics knows this is a sad loss, she was pretty much the epitome of backbench power as well as a hugely capable chair of the Commons Transport Select Committee, and was even up to her last weeks a formidable and capable examiner of anyone who came before her.  RIP.

Gordon Brown's obsession with persuading more school children to join the armed forces has taken another turn.

Controversial plans for pupils in comprehensive schools to sign up for military drills and weapons training are being backed by Gordon Brown in an attempt to improve the relationship between the public and the armed forces.

I didn't think the relationship between the public and the armed forces was in particularly dire need of improving. A recent poll found that 87% of those questioned supported British soldiers. The recent faux outrage over the ban on military servicemen wearing their uniforms in Peterborough when off-duty turned out to be a bit of a damp squib when no incidents of actual serious abuse came to light. Like Justin, I think the idea of military personnel being intimidated by a bit of name-calling is ridiculous. It would seem there is another agenda at work, and that would be the thorny issue of allowing military recruiters into schools to find more cannon fodder. The military deny that they go into schools to recruit and that their aim is to raise "the general awareness of their armed forces in society, not to recruit". Believe that and you'll believe anything.

What makes Brown's agenda so transparent is the milestones we've already passed to get to the point of drill and weapons training for school children. First we have his enthusiasm for jingoism which plumed new depths when he announced plans for school children to swear allegiance to the Queen and salute the flag; then we have the outrage at the National Union of Teachers for daring to suggest that military recruitment campaigns employ "misleading propaganda" in schools and should be boycotted - more from Justin (they don't recruit, remember); more 'fury' when students at a University voted to ban all military personnel including cadets; then we have the revelation that pupils are being given a biased view of Iraq in Ministry of Defence teaching materials.

He [National Union of Teachers general secretary Steve Sinnott] warned that some of its assertions, presented as facts, would be disputed by most teachers. There were no estimates of the numbers of people killed, wounded or made homeless by the military action, he said. The material therefore risked breaching the part of the 1996 Education Act concerned with balanced teaching of political issues, he added.

So if these plans are allowed to go ahead unchallenged, how long will it be before a call for the return of National Service gets louder? Once recruiting general awareness raising officers have done the rounds of the poor and deprived areas of the country to recruit raise general awareness of the infantry and there is still a shortage of troops for America's failing imperial adventures, I suspect a call for conscription won't be far off.

Some political memoirs are enlightening revelations, others are a window into governance. Oona's diaries are a cynical justification of her own failed ambitions. The diaries are not, despite her assurances, contemporary but are filled with post facto rewrites, often blatantly so.

She comes across as being completely overwhelmed, thoroughly disorganised and virtually friendless in the House. Somehow she portrays herself as an independent rebel, something not in accordance with the facts.

A mean and bitter streak is occasionally on show. After her first Question in the house she says "a lot of Tory MP's came up to me saying they were impressed.  Low expectations of black women can sometimes be helpful." Alternatively, the explanation could be that MP's traditionally say some kind words after a new member's first intervention.

Strangely enough, Oona is never short of a catty remark when ever Diane Abbot appears - a black, female MP.

In her lengthy introduction she explains how she studied Islam - getting a First, naturally. Strangely, to mark moments of great joy, she writes the Arabic phrase "Alli Akbar".

Oops. Even the Shia would find that deeply blasphemous. How can one not be aware of Allahu Akbar, especially when you claim an expertise in Islamic studies and live in a multicultural seat?

What is so exhausting about this book is the relentless me, me, me. Not one word of praise given to her is omitted, no admiring glance unrecorded. Underneath this, there is nothing. No substance, no revelation, just a self obsessed little girl drowning out of her depth.

The afterword is a real gem. After losing her seat our heroine finds herself on a plane and gets into conversation with a fellow passenger, who spontaneously starts spouting off about his wonderful, fantastic MP, a certain Oona King, whereupon our heroine reveals herself, the supplicant denies it could be her as she is so youthful!

In the blurb, Neil Kinnock says "It would make a good novel - but people would think it a little far fetched". This could be an example of Neil's famed sense of humour, but in this book the truth is stretched beyond breaking point time and time again. I've read plenty of politicians memoirs and this is perhaps the most shallow, the most self-serving and the least useful to history.

So, Gordon Brown has decided in his infinite wisdom that what school children need more than, say, learning to read and write, is to pledge allegiance to Queen and Country. This has to be his most idiotic idea to date.

Of course, if the kids were actually taught some history, then they'd know just what a destructive force nationalism can be, but seeing as basic literacy seems to be beyond the capabilities of so many schools, I guess the secret is safe. No, far better to teach children to revere an over-privileged family and salute a piece of cloth while filling their heads with bullshit concepts like “my country right or wrong”.

I just can't see this idea working. Can you imagine a bunch of half-pissed hoodies saluting the flag and singing the national anthem with trembling lips and tears in their eyes? – Tears of laughter perhaps. But Comrade Gordon seems to be very attached to this idea, he's been banging on about “Britishness” for months now without actually defining the term.

This nationalistic fervour is however, a disturbing development. Gordon has got Lord Goldsmith to come up with a report on “Britishness” and his ideas go several stops beyond barking. 

• A "small" council tax discount for people who complete volunteer work in the community, like organising neighbourhood recycling projects, helping children to learn to read in schools or setting up a residents' association

How small? Miniscule I bet! This sounds like slave labour to me. I particularly liked the “helping children to learn to read in schools” What is it teachers are supposed to be doing again? Oh that's right, teaching kids to Seig Heil the flag! 

• Reduction in university tuition fees and student loans for university undergraduates who carry out volunteer work

Slave labour again. Shouldn't students be, erm, studying?

• Extending citizenship ceremonies to all young people, with the possibility of incorporating the oath of allegiance to the Queen and the pledge of commitment to the UK

I've covered this bit. It's bullshit.

• A British national day by 2012, to coincide with the Olympics and what will be the Queen's Diamond Jubilee.

Well, I'm fine with the day off bit but I think I'll give all the flag waving a miss – or is that treason? Which brings us neatly to:

• Reform or scrapping of Britain's old Treason laws

We can't have people disagreeing with the Generalissimo can we?

• A review of the current ban on asylum seekers taking paid jobs

Careful Gordon, don't want to upset the Daily Mail do we?

• Reducing the fee charged for becoming a British citizen from £655, with a larger discount for foreigners who apply as soon as they become eligible

So what happens to British residents who have been productively here for decades, are they to be penalised?

• Creation of a new National Citizens' Corps, whose members could provide advice to others on training and development in citizenship.

Good grief!! I've been trying to avoid Godwin's law up to now. But FFS Gordon, why not go the whole hog and set up your own version of the Hitler Youth?

• Setting up a new "Deliberation Day" to be held before each General Election to encourage political debate and other events.

Yes, we're all very familiar with Gordon and New Labour's passion for political debate. The word “Gimmick” springs to mind.

• A special citizenship ceremony to be hosted each year and possibly attended by the prime minister and a senior royal, to recognise "outstanding acts of volunteering"

Someone fetch me a bucket please.

• The setting up of "Investors in Communities" - a title earned by businesses which allow staff paid time to carry out community work

Hmm, time off work to work. I know Labour are obsessed with getting people into work but this is ridiculous. What employer will take that idea seriously?

• Foreigners applying for citizenship should follow a new credits-based system under which they would earn points for various activities in the community. For instance, working in key jobs, like the NHS, could earn additional credits.

Why not just make sure people are paid a decent wage for whatever job they end up doing?

And let's not forget that this nonsense comes from Lord Goldsmith the ex-Attorney General whose stunning contributions to citizenship include scrapping a police investigation into his Government's corruption and allowing himself to be pressured by a foreign government into changing his mind on the legality of an illegal war.

A shameless attempt to win the prestidgious Order of the Brown Nose from the Home Office minister, currently in Washington DC. She's aware of the primaries and has announced her startling opinion: gordon Brown is better than Hillary and Barack combined.

Gordon Brown had successfully managed both to build on the experience that he has as being part of the Labour Government over the last 10 years and to register to the British people that there was a change of emphasis and that there were new challenges that his premiership was going to be able to address”.

She added: “He combines the best of Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama.

We offer a pound to the first reporter who asks either candidate if they think they're half as good as the dour Scot.

Just a quick update to the previous buggers story - Nick Robinson is claiming that it was Thames Valley Plod, not the Met, who bugged Mr. Khan and Mr. Ahmad.  Probably reasonable given the location of the prison, so apologies to the incompetent murderous mendacious bastards at the Yard.

However, given that it seems to have been initiated by a TVP copper acting on his own initiative, it's quite possible the Met and indeed every other force in the country is happily reaching for the RIPA 2000 and bugging anyone and everyone without bothering to inform a judge or the Cabinet.  This leads to the following bit of speculation:

If you or I went round blabbing details of anti-terror surveillance operations we'd be in Paddington Green trying to remember Gareth Peirce's phone number* before too long.  Doesn't seem to apply to the Sunday Times and the Tories, however, who evidently both received this information, so who leaked it?  Whose noses would be put out of joint by a lot of ordinary coppers getting in on the domestic surveillance game?  Whose paper is the Sunday Times?  Answers on a postcard (left in a dead letter drop in the Brompton Road) and addressed to 'MI5, Thames House, London'.

OK, so what would the spooky calculation be?  Let slip that the fuzz are bugging MPs and suddenly Straw and the boys (and the Tories, hence the leak to them) are put on the back foot, realise what a monster they've created in allowing the police unchecked surveillance powers, put uppity Plod and his Acme Listening Kit back in his box and go running back to the professionals.  Perhaps.  All seems rather neat, really, but there's a plausible case here to say that genuine MI5 anti-terror surveillance operations (which I'm certainly not opposed to, see Shami Chakrabarti's comments) could easily be badly compromised if there's a police operation unknown to them going on.  If that's the case, the leaker's done us all a favour.

The only unanswered question is what on earth TVP thought they'd pick up - Sadiq Khan MP isn't a terrorist, he's Jack Straw's PPS FFS.  I suggest they did it because they could and because there's no accountability *at all*.  Thus are police states run, you don't have to have a reason to be arbitrary.

Talking of which, Olbermann is in fine form (via ChickYog).  There's more from SpyBlog too, and Tony Benn makes the obvious, if paranoid, point that the Wilson Doctrine never meant that much anyway.

Now for some light relief.  The Metropolitan Police clearly concluded long ago that their job was to enforce the law, but not to follow it.  What other construction can we put on this?

Gordon Brown was drawn into a dispute yesterday over a claim that police secretly bugged one of his MPs during meetings with a man suspected of links to terror groups.

An inquiry was ordered into the allegation that Sadiq Khan, now a government whip, was covertly recorded during two visits he made to Babar Ahmad in the prison where he is being held. The Conservatives said that they had given warning to Mr Brown six weeks ago that an MP had been subjected to surveillance, in breach of a convention against bugging MPs, and accused him of doing nothing.

Now, I'm not sure what's the more laughable suggestion here, that Sadiq Khan is a prominent campaigner for civil liberties (he *was*, but his voting record since being elected to Parliament hardly does him credit on this, backing ID cards, anti-terror laws and Trident but opposing investigating Iraq), that the Met decide who to bug without asking anyone or that Gordon Brown's administration apparently lose letters from senior opposition politicians (hint: try asking top government couriers TNT).  Possibly none of them are quite as laughable as the case against Mr. Ahmad, a beneficiary of David Blunkett's enlightened attitude to justice and democracy as demonstrated by the 2003 Extradition Act.  In case anyone's not following the Register coverage of the associated trial in the USA, here's a taster:

Abu-jihaad has been charged with e-mailing information on the transit of his naval battle group through the Straits of Hormuz to Babar Ahmad and Azzam Publications in London in 2001. At the time he was serving on the destroyer Benfold. For the purpose of the case, Babar Ahmad - now awaiting a court decision in February on whether or not he is to be extradited to the States - is considered by the US government to be a terrorist. The government alleges Abu-jihaad's communications with Ahmad and the purchase of Chechen resistance videotapes from the Azzam website to be aiding terror, with the defendant an agent of a foreign power.

A glaring problem with the government's case against Abu-jihaad is that the evidence against him is thin. Although the US has submitted e-mails to Azzam which they have claimed are from Abu-jihaad, prosecutors admitted in pre-trial filings this month that "the Government had no recorded statements or testimony personally linking Abu-jihaad to the e-mail account from which [the communications to Azzam in question] were sent."

Of course, SpyBlog have been on the case from the start, in usual exhaustive detail, plus the bugging story.  Useful to correct some bias and poor details in the original Sunday Times story.  Also, remember the old rule, the Sunday Times is MI5's paper, the Sunday Telegraph is MI6's.

File under 'ex-Blairites outside the sinking ship trying to get back in by kicking holes in the bottom'. 
With Gordon Brown's administraton looking increasingly like a muppet surrounded by pygmies, it's time for another upheaval of earth from the grave a country in mourning tearfully commerated with the inscription 'Blairism 1997-2007 - Please, Just Fuck Off And Die'.

February 1 2008 The Progress thinktank issues a statement backed by a group of cabinet ministers, which calls on Brown to offer a radical reform programme to ward off the Tory threat as Cameron battles for the centre ground with more socially liberal policies

The thinktank urges Brown to draw up "a future agenda which is post-Blair, not anti-Blair; building on the achievements of the past decade, not running away from them".

Now, to us, the only things Brown's shown any real leadership on are rowing frantically backwards from the madder excesses of Blairism, so who are these 'Progress' people?  Well, obviously it's Charles Clarke again, you can't keep him down with anything short of an industrial grade rolling mill:

"I don't think it is Gordon's fault, in the sense that he has to make his dispositions with the resources available to him. The party leadership team isn't as clear and strong as it needs to be

or: Labour has wasted much of the first half of this parliament. With some exceptions, our efforts to make the necessary changes have been insufficient.

What exceptions, Charles?  This is the same old Blairite boilerplate, there are always 'challenges' for which 'change' is 'necessary' if only we have the 'will' to make an 'effort'.  The language is passionless, meaningless, awful bilge and the result is the same - crap policies and crap laws.  It doesn't fool anyone any more.  Bog off, Charlie.

P.S. Can anyone explain to me why the otherwise readable Paul Linford keeps repeating his view that Labour need Alan Milburn and David Blunkett back?  Baffles me.

Tony Blair, eh?  Tony Bloody Blair.  In the middle of a banking crisis prompted by greed and chicanery, the master of greed and chicanery picks up not one but two jobs with big financial organisations.  Amazing.  Anyone would think they'd picked him for who he knows rather than what he knows - after all, banks need all the friends they can get just now (right, Darling?).

On the other hand, the Telegraph reports that JP Morgan don't actually expect him to turn up.  I don't know about you, but paying £2m a year to keep Tony out of the office sounds like a good investment for almost anybody.  Think of it as protection money - if only Saddam had paid up, presumably, Tony would have invaded someone else.  Watch out for him in your neighbourhood if you haven't got the requisite finance.

Talking of Iraq, TYR has a typically incisive analysis of why and how the 'surge' failed, based on sound military principles of deployment of reserves.  George and the neocons, true to their principles, basically gambled the US Army away for a short-term boost in domestic ratings, while blathering on about the desirability of a strong USA capable of imposing its will on the world.  The key thing is to ask your local tiresome neocon apologist is why, if the surge is such a wise all-conquering strategy, they've got themselves into a position where it's the only weapon they can't use any more, any where but the fire is still burning.  That's before we even get round to mentioning Afghanistan.

Why do they do it? Why are they so inisitent on extending detention? Even in a 'Government of all the Untalent' Jacqui Smith stands out as being particuly undistinguished and has recently been touring the media being completely unconvincing.

Watching her press her case - which amounts to "We might possibly need to do this at some point in the future. Maybe. So it would be perfectly rational to have it in place now, just in case" - under questioning is fascinating. She gives the impression that she's about to break down in tears and desperately sob at the cameras saying "It's not my fault, Gordon's making me do this".

Future crime. How very Orwellian.

There is a possibility that at some point in the future people might steal people's jet packs and use them to frighten ducks. Shouldn't we put in legislation now to prevent this?

Don't we have a pressing need to legislate launching private space rockets? There will come a time when unregulated space launches will cause a serious hazard to aircraft. We MUST legislate now so that we are prepared.

The Police have chosen today to announce a new initiative to fight crime, taken from Minority Report:

Young people who are believed to be at risk of becoming offenders are to be targeted in a new police initiative.

The move is part of a strategy for reducing youth crime in England, Wales and Northern Ireland, unveiled by the Association of Chief Police Officers.

Acpo says identifying potential young offenders early on could have a dramatic impact on cutting youth crime.

Efforts include sharing information with other services and extending a police presence in some schools.

New Labour: Fighting Tomorrow's Crimes Today. Today's crimes can wait.

The Peter Hain saga grinds on, showing us that Gordon's 'Age of Change' hasn't actually resulted in any change at all. Once again we see that New New Labour continue to tell us that they can continue to manage the nation but not a simple election expenses account.

The usual excuses have been trotted out, an oversight, not important and so on. But it is important. How politicians raise and manage their own financial affairs are very important indeed, especially as UK policitians are trending towards heroic levels of corruption and incompetence.

The Tories have been quiet, a sure sign that some of their skeletons are close to being unearthed.

What's the answer? There is a simple punishment that would concentrate people's minds. Any failure to register or any breach of ethical codes means instant resignation and the MP would be ineligible to stand for office for 7 years.

US wants instant access to UK biometric data - presumably so they can stop dangerous terrorists like Cat Stevens. It looks like a deal is being done behind the scenes with little publicity and the 7m+ people on the UK's IDENT1 will be whizzing over the Atlantic to join the 'Server in the Sky'.

Yes. They really call it that.

And so we find ourselves listening to the drip, drip of revelations about New Labour's inability  to refuse dodgy donations. It should be obvious that the party is institutionally  corrupt.

There is the promised 'review' of party funding, the inquiry into changing the rules, but the important thing to remember is that the rules aren't the problem.

The problem is that so many of Labour's top echelon simply don't give a damn about the rules. Arrogance? Yes, but after the 'Cash for Honours' scandal, it is sheer hubris - and hubris has been the underlying tone of the party since that nice Mr. Blair took over.

The self pitying claims of 'I didn't know', 'I was unaware' and so on are just a smokescreen. What they're really saying is 'I didn't care'.

As this descends into farce, the venality of New Labour comes blinking into the light.

The problem with New Labour isn't Blair, it's the entire dysfunctional leadership of the party.

You also might like the final paragraph of the story linked to above

Beyond satire. Beyond a joke.

It's shaping up to be a bad week for Gordon Brown (see, I told you we'd have to start all articles like this).

First, despite being as big a control freak than Blair, a man who hauls in errant ministers for a hairdryer session if they step out of line on the Today Programme, he's officially the last person in the Party to know that they've been accepted illegal dodgy donations from a dodgy millionaire with a list of previous as long as the queue outside an ID Card centre and of such a retiring, quiet character that he crops up at Blair's Sedgefield tear-fest back in June.

Second, the Lib Dems demonstrate that sacking an unpopular Scotsman is worth 10% in the polls.  Labour appear to be trying to demonstrate that hanging onto one is worth 10 years in opposition.

Third is all the bad news that's been buried under, er, the other bad news - the rip off over QinetiQ (who was running the Treasury?), the bodge up at HMRC (who created HMRC and encourage the outsourcing that pushed up costs, then put pressure on to reduce costs), the severe criticism from the top brass about Brown's parsimony towards the armed forces, the impending retreat from Capital Gains Tax reform in the face of angry suits at the CBI, the evident lack of experience and competence in Milliband and Darling, the fact that only Killer of the Yard and co. still support his idiotic 56/58/whatever days detention offer and finally the Daily Mail turning on him.  Any I've missed?

If Mr. Brown appoints a couple of judges or bishops or Lords to investigate this little lot, we'll run out soon.  I suggest holding a larger inquiry into the performance of the Government, to be conducted by every mentally competent British person over 18.  We could call it a 'General Election'.

Still, at least everything was done in good faith, eh?

It's been a bad week for Gordon Brown (incidentally, there's a new law that states that every article for the rest of the year has to start with these words).  Luckily, according to a transparent planted story (full of 'senior officials' and 'insiders') in the Observer, he's getting some heavyweight talent on board to sort it out:

Now, Straw is no longer in the Blair inner circle, if he ever was, and is also actually quite bright, but of low-to-dubious morals.  Hoon is, of course, but he's a mental midget who shouldn't be anywhere near anything important.  Of course, the actual contents of the story are irrelevant (it is the Observer, after all), it's the hidden hand behind it that fascinates.

So what to make of this?  Is it the Blairites spinning it as their guys riding to the rescue (see Martin 'I Never Saw A Blairite Arse I Didn't Want To Lick' Kettle all-time-classic article the other day) or the Brownites spinning that they've got it under control and are in charge of events?  Beats me, although given that it's the Observblair and the Blairites are evidently running an anti-Brown campaign, I veer towards the former.  Remember, these people are like particularly virulent undead - stake them through the heart, cut their heads off, stuff them with garlic and they'll still be writing snarky pieces for the Guardian about how they were Right all along and how Gordon just needs to be More Like Tony and it'll all be well.