gordon brown

The revelations in the Telegraph may be the Jack Straw that breaks the camels back. As Gordon 'son of a preacher man' Brown is included in the list of expenses claims - New Labour's true dodgy dossier - how much longer can he survive?

What is the point of this administration?

However, the Tories have the strangest claim: Two packs of Tampax at £1.11 each, claimed by a Conservative MP who lost his seat in 2005. His seat? His? What on earth was he using them for?

Once again Martin Bell nails it: Where's the remorse?

Mandy isn't showing any remorse

Neil Kinnock drags out the bogeyman in a desperate attempt to support Brown and smear his rivals:

Back Gordon Brown or boost BNP, Neil Kinnock warns MPs

Oh right, if you're against Brown, you're a BNP supporter, are you?

The delusions continue as Harman says she's prepared to fight for the leadership, even against a 'unity' candidate.

Finally the number that really matters; Number of Cabinet Ministers coming to Brown's defence = 2

Behind the scenes Labour is at war. With itself. Electoral disaster is facing them, in the European elections - expect the Tories to have enough members to pull out of the EPP group with ease - and the council elections. The last elections were very bad for Labour and if they do even wose than last time, Brown's card will be truly marked.

So what are Labour thinking? Well it seems that Brown is dead in the water, unlikely lead the party in the next election, his economic record is in the bin and the McBride ripped apart his dour morality and the budget went down badly. Especially as Cameron was devastating in response to it, looking a little reminiscent of Mr Blair, some thought.

As things stand, I pedict Brown will stand down around the Party conference, possibly being offered something at the IMF or World Bank as a face-saver.

Who's up for the job? Take a look at who does the media rounds each time there's a new blow, such as this story, about Blair opposing the 50% tax band.

Tony's clearly approved people to speak on his behalf, a signal to his followers. Notice Charles Clarke, once more, putting his oar in. Mandelson laying down the law, and the unnamed sources, I wouldn't be suprised if they included Johnson and Straw.

Thr Brownies raise the spectre of Harman. Let's be frank, when your defence of your boss is trying to scare people with the prospect of Harman PM, you're running out of cards to play.

But to win the election, it will take a different leader. I'd put money on Milliband or Johnson. And a side bet on Blair as European President after an Irish yes to Lisbon in October.

Is Labour becoming the party that ate itself? It's going beyond parody when we get hilarious headlines like this:

Gordon Brown warned by Blairites over No 10 smears

Now remind me, who was it who briefed that Gordon Brown was 'psychologically flawed'...

In the Torygraph, Murdoch's right hand man - the one who told Blair to hold a referendum on the Lisbon Treaty, has written an article; Britain can be fixed – but not by a PM who wants to save the world.

Who next? Milliband is wounded by his covering up of torture and may lack the balls for a challenge and the deliciously deluded Harmann is getting a kicking. Jaqui Smith is in the mire, Tessa Jowell's hubby is to be banged up for being bribed.

So, who is there? Straw, Blunkett, Mandelson? The wilderness beckons...

ATTILA THE STOCKBROKER CLEANS UP THE CITY

I was a clerk there: I’ve seen the greed

How wealth and power eat hope and need

Now they’re eating each other but they’re still screaming

‘No interference’ – I start dreaming…

‘Self regulation?’ OK, I say

‘I’m a stockbroker – let’s do it my way’

And that’s the beginning of this little ditty:

Attila the Stockbroker cleans up the City!

Each gets a red nose so everybody knows

Just who they are and where all our money goes

No more speculate, no more accumulate -

This is a lifestyle we’re going to eradicate

Dealers on the floor meet squads of the poor saying

‘Here’s the twist, Oliver – we want more

Work for us or we take the whole kitty’

Attila the Stockbroker cleans up the City!

‘Hello Mr. Hedge Fund, have a cup of tea.

Financial Services Authority? Me.

You’re a parasite on the population

Convicted of criminal speculation

Time to atone for a life so greedy -

Twenty years working for the poor and needy.

Want to appeal? Try the Central Committee…’

Attila the Stockbroker cleans up the City!

Morning Mr Banker, you’re in for a shock.

We’re taking much more than just Northern Rock!

All the banks nationalised – Stock Exchange too.

Utilities, railways, grabbed from the few.

Mr Billionaire? You just lost your money.

(Hey there, Chelsea fan, isn’t that funny!)

The future’s brown. The future’s shitty.

So Attila the Stockbroker cleans up the City!

Capitalism is a John Cleese parrot.

Let’s give it stick and not a single carrot!

Bollocks to the dealer, the broker, the lender -

Social justice back on the agenda

Radical stylin’ going on here

Smoked Mammon sarnies and really good beer

For the poor no fear, for the rich no pity

When Attila the Stockbroker cleans up the City!

 Oh dear God, just how low can New Labour go? Here's the latest example of the policy vacuum and lack of strategic thinking. They're planning to pay for a TV series that will encourage people to get off the dole and go into work. The show will be fronted by Jeremy Kyle. It's is provisionally titled Jeremy Kyle Gets Britain Working

I cannot imagine anything more inappropriate. Kyle has made his name by exploiting and bullying people who are frequently uneducated or inarticulate.

Jeremy Kyle's screen behaviour is that of a clinical psychopath.

Here's an article about the filming of his Christmas DVD. To see the government team up with Kyle is genuinely disturbing.

Will they sack Gordon? This is like history repeating itself. A long whispering campaign, hint filled speeches and interviews, protestations of loyalty. Perhaps Gordon should have contemplated the Good Book:

The boy Miliband is talking about change in typical New Labour soundbites.Interesting to see what Alan Johnson has to say about it.

Not a good day for him and it's going to get worse. Losing part of Glasgow that has been rock solid Labour since the day the party was born is one thing on many MP's minds, but they have one huge problem. If they're going to replace him, it really must be done this Autumn and the potential future leaders are hardly inspiring.

Just how bad things are will become clear later when Obama lands in the UK after such a successful speech in Berlin. Next to him Gordon looks very dowdy indeed, very uninspiring.

Is Gordon Off His Own Message?

July 7th: PM Urges People Not To Waste Food

July 8th: World Leaders Tuck into 18 Course Meal as They Discuss Global Food Shortage

Or is it just the same old New Labour 'do as I say, not as I do'?

I'll admit I was stunned when I read the story that Brown 'Will only stand for one General Election'. My first thought was "as many as that?" Then the Shakespearean tragedy that is New Labour became obvious.

This is a man who spent over a decade and a half plotting to gain the crown and as soon as he crowned himself, he blew it. He blew  it so badly that already his best hope is in the careful leaking this line of "He'll soon be gone, so please, just vote for him the once. He's off soon. Promise. No, seriously, we mean it this time".

Looks like the backbenchers are getting very restless indeed. Probably because they might well be sitting on the other side of the Commons after Gordon's single stand before the electorate.

Could it be that the possible arrival of McKenzie, supposedly with the backing of that nice Mr Murdoch is just a ploy to force Labour to field a candidate? Stranger things have happened.

A big question and one where the answer is taking a long time to appear. Winning the 42 days vote was an example of politics at its worst, it's most disreputable. By a combination of outright bribery and blackmailing his own side with 'Do you really want a messy leadership election contest with our ratings so low?' being whispered by the whips into the Labour rebels' ears.

This is how civil liberties are overturned, not out of necessity but out of saving one mans political skin, out of a twisted machination to recoup a few points in the polls by painting the Conservatives as being 'weak on terrorism'.

Let's make one thing clear: David Davis has done this on principle. He is serious and genuine. This is not a moment of madness, a foolish move but a brave decision to take a stand.

Jacqui Smith, the Home Secretary, accused the Conservatives of being in “total disarray”. Well, that's a subject she has a great deal of experience of!

Will Labour fight to defend their policy or will they be too afraid?

Does Brown have any balls at all? No. They won't put up a candidate to defend their policies or attempt to justify their actions before the electorate. It seems that the only balls he has is called Ed.

Jack Straw, the Justice Secretary, branded Mr Davis's behaviour "odd" - Well Jack would find sticking to your principles odd. This is a man who had a long standing Labour party member in his eighties arrested for calling him 'rubbish' at the party conference, so we can clearly not trust him or his tired and discredited party to use this new legislation wisely.

Gordon Brown's obsession with persuading more school children to join the armed forces has taken another turn.

Controversial plans for pupils in comprehensive schools to sign up for military drills and weapons training are being backed by Gordon Brown in an attempt to improve the relationship between the public and the armed forces.

I didn't think the relationship between the public and the armed forces was in particularly dire need of improving. A recent poll found that 87% of those questioned supported British soldiers. The recent faux outrage over the ban on military servicemen wearing their uniforms in Peterborough when off-duty turned out to be a bit of a damp squib when no incidents of actual serious abuse came to light. Like Justin, I think the idea of military personnel being intimidated by a bit of name-calling is ridiculous. It would seem there is another agenda at work, and that would be the thorny issue of allowing military recruiters into schools to find more cannon fodder. The military deny that they go into schools to recruit and that their aim is to raise "the general awareness of their armed forces in society, not to recruit". Believe that and you'll believe anything.

What makes Brown's agenda so transparent is the milestones we've already passed to get to the point of drill and weapons training for school children. First we have his enthusiasm for jingoism which plumed new depths when he announced plans for school children to swear allegiance to the Queen and salute the flag; then we have the outrage at the National Union of Teachers for daring to suggest that military recruitment campaigns employ "misleading propaganda" in schools and should be boycotted - more from Justin (they don't recruit, remember); more 'fury' when students at a University voted to ban all military personnel including cadets; then we have the revelation that pupils are being given a biased view of Iraq in Ministry of Defence teaching materials.

He [National Union of Teachers general secretary Steve Sinnott] warned that some of its assertions, presented as facts, would be disputed by most teachers. There were no estimates of the numbers of people killed, wounded or made homeless by the military action, he said. The material therefore risked breaching the part of the 1996 Education Act concerned with balanced teaching of political issues, he added.

So if these plans are allowed to go ahead unchallenged, how long will it be before a call for the return of National Service gets louder? Once recruiting general awareness raising officers have done the rounds of the poor and deprived areas of the country to recruit raise general awareness of the infantry and there is still a shortage of troops for America's failing imperial adventures, I suspect a call for conscription won't be far off.

So, Gordon Brown has decided in his infinite wisdom that what school children need more than, say, learning to read and write, is to pledge allegiance to Queen and Country. This has to be his most idiotic idea to date.

Of course, if the kids were actually taught some history, then they'd know just what a destructive force nationalism can be, but seeing as basic literacy seems to be beyond the capabilities of so many schools, I guess the secret is safe. No, far better to teach children to revere an over-privileged family and salute a piece of cloth while filling their heads with bullshit concepts like “my country right or wrong”.

I just can't see this idea working. Can you imagine a bunch of half-pissed hoodies saluting the flag and singing the national anthem with trembling lips and tears in their eyes? – Tears of laughter perhaps. But Comrade Gordon seems to be very attached to this idea, he's been banging on about “Britishness” for months now without actually defining the term.

This nationalistic fervour is however, a disturbing development. Gordon has got Lord Goldsmith to come up with a report on “Britishness” and his ideas go several stops beyond barking. 

• A "small" council tax discount for people who complete volunteer work in the community, like organising neighbourhood recycling projects, helping children to learn to read in schools or setting up a residents' association

How small? Miniscule I bet! This sounds like slave labour to me. I particularly liked the “helping children to learn to read in schools” What is it teachers are supposed to be doing again? Oh that's right, teaching kids to Seig Heil the flag! 

• Reduction in university tuition fees and student loans for university undergraduates who carry out volunteer work

Slave labour again. Shouldn't students be, erm, studying?

• Extending citizenship ceremonies to all young people, with the possibility of incorporating the oath of allegiance to the Queen and the pledge of commitment to the UK

I've covered this bit. It's bullshit.

• A British national day by 2012, to coincide with the Olympics and what will be the Queen's Diamond Jubilee.

Well, I'm fine with the day off bit but I think I'll give all the flag waving a miss – or is that treason? Which brings us neatly to:

• Reform or scrapping of Britain's old Treason laws

We can't have people disagreeing with the Generalissimo can we?

• A review of the current ban on asylum seekers taking paid jobs

Careful Gordon, don't want to upset the Daily Mail do we?

• Reducing the fee charged for becoming a British citizen from £655, with a larger discount for foreigners who apply as soon as they become eligible

So what happens to British residents who have been productively here for decades, are they to be penalised?

• Creation of a new National Citizens' Corps, whose members could provide advice to others on training and development in citizenship.

Good grief!! I've been trying to avoid Godwin's law up to now. But FFS Gordon, why not go the whole hog and set up your own version of the Hitler Youth?

• Setting up a new "Deliberation Day" to be held before each General Election to encourage political debate and other events.

Yes, we're all very familiar with Gordon and New Labour's passion for political debate. The word “Gimmick” springs to mind.

• A special citizenship ceremony to be hosted each year and possibly attended by the prime minister and a senior royal, to recognise "outstanding acts of volunteering"

Someone fetch me a bucket please.

• The setting up of "Investors in Communities" - a title earned by businesses which allow staff paid time to carry out community work

Hmm, time off work to work. I know Labour are obsessed with getting people into work but this is ridiculous. What employer will take that idea seriously?

• Foreigners applying for citizenship should follow a new credits-based system under which they would earn points for various activities in the community. For instance, working in key jobs, like the NHS, could earn additional credits.

Why not just make sure people are paid a decent wage for whatever job they end up doing?

And let's not forget that this nonsense comes from Lord Goldsmith the ex-Attorney General whose stunning contributions to citizenship include scrapping a police investigation into his Government's corruption and allowing himself to be pressured by a foreign government into changing his mind on the legality of an illegal war.